Nov
20
2011
TAGS: baby development ⋅ baby learning ⋅ baby parenting ⋅ conscious parenting ⋅ listening to your baby ⋅ nurturing parenting ⋅ parenting ⋅ parenting awareness ⋅ parenting choices ⋅ parenting confidence ⋅ parenting skills ⋅ parenting support ⋅ toddler parenting
A survey of how babies are parented around the globe quickly reveals that beyond adequate shelter and food, little else is agreed upon as physical “necessities” for raising a young child. All the choices in clothing, gear, and extras are additions to the business of parenting. Although in the industrialized western countries the focus can become fixed on the material choices, the truly significant pieces come from within the parents. Regardless of where you are in the world, regardless of where you are on the income scale, if you are stable with food and shelter, you are a candidate for being a wonderful parent.
How can I make this sweeping statement, pushing aside all material choices in favor of a more primary, more fundamental choice? It is because your awareness of your own true nature and how you bring that to parenting is infinitely more significant than any material choice. When you embrace a willingness to relax and possibly not know what’s next, the opening of your mind and heart gives you access to wisdom beyond virtual reality. Moving beyond a limited point of view allows us, as parents, to expand our focus rather than narrow it. As we expand our personal selves, we begin to see the true nature of our baby. The harmonization that is possible within ourselves then carries over to our interaction with our baby.
Not many parenting guides encourage you to let go of all your concepts and scripts and welcome the mystery of your own being. It is, in fact, the ideal set up to experience your new baby in the most clear depth of awareness, free of conditioning. Our young children often draw us into the present moment very effectively. Responding to life in this powerfully spontaneous way is also a model for us to access something that is not mentally created. Wisdom, innocence, and love come with your new baby. Take the time to tune in and tap into it as you parent.
Sep
22
2011
TAGS: baby parenting ⋅ conscious parenting ⋅ parenting ⋅ parenting awareness ⋅ toddler parenting
If we define mindfulness as calm awareness of the present moment, it’s easy to see how that frame of mind could serve us well as parents. To be in the moment is in of itself a gift, and then to allow that to be our main way of interacting as a parent takes us into realms of possibility that may be overlooked otherwise. So much of what happens in a typical day with a baby or toddler is spontaneous, is unplanned, and is precious. By precious I mean it is fleeting in the overall developmental stages and growth you will see in your child. A certain way of playing, although it may be incorporated and built on, will never look quite the same as when your 6 month old does it! Being present to experience and enjoy with her is a gift.
However you find to remind yourself, enjoy as many sweet moments in the present as you can. Discernment is a quality that can help maximize your enjoyment. This is the ‘prioritizing’ portion, where your decisions and judgment calls (is it important or necessary to be at the playground “on time” or are your friends mothers who also allow for some ‘flex’ in their scheduling?) and you can choose where to spend more time, when to hurry.
Underneath it all, your own success in self-nourishment as you parent will determine the degree to which you successfully nurture your child. All the images and cliches about taking care of yourself first are valid, and the challenge is to understand your own thresholds and create the combination that works for you. If getting a shower first thing in the morning is key to your feeling good about yourself for the rest of the day, then making that a priority is definitely worth it. If you can delay other things in the interest of flexibility to accommodate your child’s needs, you’ll soon see the opportunity for an exchange. Mindfulness can only occur when you feel relatively balanced and whole yourself, so making it a priority to address your most important needs is a necessity.
Pay attention to and appreciate the positive situations, events, and relationships in your life. Each time you do you’ll reduce the true source of your stress — negative emotions — and be more in the moment.
Become more aware of the situations, events, relationships and thoughts that evoke stressful feelings. Again, choose to be in the present.
