The Baby Parenting Coach » parenting skills

Babies: Trusting Yourself to Parent

Ingrid — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:52:36 +0000

At the end of the day, even with all the parenting resources available today, it’s our sense of trusting ourselves that empowers us. Creating an ongoing format to enhance that confidence is a powerful tool to have in our parenting repertoire. It might be as simple as talking over your options about a particular challenge with a trusted mentor. An ongoing moms group that enables listening and sharing in a supportive way may be a good source of feedback. There are a variety of options for developing this important trait in your parenting.
As with many aspects of parenting, there is opportunity to constantly add to your ‘toolbox’, refine your insights, and upgrade your skills. Raising kids is the ultimate growth experience. They are growing – you can, too! Seeing the inevitable challenges as opportunities for your own personal growth is an attitude worth exploring.
You may wonder how a baby’s sleep habits could be an opportunity for your growth. Well, there are a great many different ways of responding, reacting, and handling sleep patterns and habits. The behaviors of your infant may summon responses that are unique. Singing a particular lullaby may work better with one child than another. The variations and opportunities for creativity are huge. Have fun with it, explore, be flexible and open, and see you own potential expand. That’s the best start to trusting yourself as a parent.

Parenting Baby with Direct Experience of the Real World

Ingrid — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:54:16 +0000

Today’s media-obsessed culture and fast-paced technology are not appropriate hosts for early childhood. As adults, we participate to the extent we choose, in the frenzy and disconnect that modern technology provides. Our very young child’s development is undermined by the same technologies that make our adult lives more efficient and/or effective (with a big question mark by the last part of that statement, for discussion at some other time).

The fundamental need to connect and bond with a real person is usurped every time a baby or toddler is planted in front of a television, video, or electronic media. In order to learn and grow, children need to connect to nature, family, each other, and to their own creativity and initiative. The great downside of the convenient “babysitting’ use of electronic media is that it robs the child of the direct interaction that is key to development of initiative and creativity.

If you are not familiar with the epidemic absence of these qualities in some of our youth, please spend some time in a middle school or high school. I assure you, it will not be a long wait to see a demonstration of the result of “electronic” overexposure. Qualities like problem-solving, using the imagination, inventing and negotiating rules of a game, all examples of growth and change that tap into qualities developed through real life experiences, are noticeably missing in many youth today.

The ‘tuning out’ and absorption with consumer related topics does not begin in the pre-teen or teen years. Groundwork is laid in the baby and toddler stages, by providing other than direct experience with the real world. The three basic needs of of childhood are: positive relationships with adults and other children, security, and creative play. Please take the time to learn how best to provide this for your baby and toddler. The essential building blocks of healthy child development are in your reach.

Email and phone support available
Ingrid Johnson 303.776.8100

Play, play, play

Ingrid — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:28:32 +0000

For your baby and toddler, the optimum way to learn is through play. There are no flashcards, movies, or lessons that are needed. The most valuable source of learning at these early ages is interaction with YOU!

While this obviates an entire segment of what is currently marketed to parents, it is true that you and your baby have everything you need to engage in this activity. Your faces, your voices, your touch, and your attention and interest are truly the best props you could have.

Rather than ‘plugging’ your very young child into an electronic entertainment device, please consider that your time and focus are very well spent interacting with your baby. If you have other tasks you are wanting to accomplish, I’ve found that talking to your baby while you wash dishes, file papers, or do some other task that does not require your complete attention enables you to stay connected. Then you can re-connect fully for another session of play!

All of my anecdotal experience says it it completely worth it to find a way to be available and make the effort to connect. The first few years of your child’s life are crucial to development of lifelong patterns.

www.BabyParentingCoach.com

Your True Power As a Parent

Ingrid — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:27:13 +0000

Today as a parent you don’t get to choose your child’s career path, spouse, geographical location, political orientation, favorite charity, or any of a multitude of other discretionary choices of adulthood. So why does it matter so much how you parent? Because there are a whole array of traits and attributes you DO influence as a parent. These are worth identifying and focusing on, since they will provide mutual satisfaction and enrichment for you and your child, as well as the rest of society.

Rather than engage in power struggles over conflicting choices, it’s more effective to focus on modelling a life that reflects your true values. A child who observes, for instance, her parents volunteering in the midst of their busy lives receives an important message – it’s worth it to take time to give your time/services even when you are busy with your own life. There are intangible benefits from such action. Children absorb values quickly. Observing parent’s responses, behaviors, and attitudes is the primary source of a young child’s value system.
Lead by example, and never doubt that your choices affect your child in ways that will be reflected throughout her life. Who you choose to be is the greatest gift and influence you will have on your child’s development.