Nov
20
2011
TAGS: baby development ⋅ baby learning ⋅ baby parenting ⋅ conscious parenting ⋅ listening to your baby ⋅ nurturing parenting ⋅ parenting ⋅ parenting awareness ⋅ parenting choices ⋅ parenting confidence ⋅ parenting skills ⋅ parenting support ⋅ toddler parenting
A survey of how babies are parented around the globe quickly reveals that beyond adequate shelter and food, little else is agreed upon as physical “necessities” for raising a young child. All the choices in clothing, gear, and extras are additions to the business of parenting. Although in the industrialized western countries the focus can become fixed on the material choices, the truly significant pieces come from within the parents. Regardless of where you are in the world, regardless of where you are on the income scale, if you are stable with food and shelter, you are a candidate for being a wonderful parent.
How can I make this sweeping statement, pushing aside all material choices in favor of a more primary, more fundamental choice? It is because your awareness of your own true nature and how you bring that to parenting is infinitely more significant than any material choice. When you embrace a willingness to relax and possibly not know what’s next, the opening of your mind and heart gives you access to wisdom beyond virtual reality. Moving beyond a limited point of view allows us, as parents, to expand our focus rather than narrow it. As we expand our personal selves, we begin to see the true nature of our baby. The harmonization that is possible within ourselves then carries over to our interaction with our baby.
Not many parenting guides encourage you to let go of all your concepts and scripts and welcome the mystery of your own being. It is, in fact, the ideal set up to experience your new baby in the most clear depth of awareness, free of conditioning. Our young children often draw us into the present moment very effectively. Responding to life in this powerfully spontaneous way is also a model for us to access something that is not mentally created. Wisdom, innocence, and love come with your new baby. Take the time to tune in and tap into it as you parent.
Dec
2
2010
TAGS: baby development ⋅ baby parenting ⋅ brain development ⋅ parenting choices ⋅ parenting power ⋅ parenting skills ⋅ relationships
Alan Watts spoke of an “integrity of pattern” when describing the energetic dance in which we all participate. As a fan of his old programs from the 1980′s, I recently heard that phrase and related it to the ‘self hug’ I recommend to parents of toddlers. Restoring our own “integrity of pattern” means re-aligning ourselves with our highest and best intentions, our innermost knowing, and our richest resources. It gives us access to the underlying wisdom that easily becomes obscured in the course of a day (parenting a toddler or not).
As easy as it is to lose sight of this inherent well of knowing we all possess, it’s also simple to restore ourselves to that place and then draw upon it during the course of our day. Mom and Dad engaging in a ‘self hug’ means taking a few moments to let go of immediate stressors, finding a neutral space within, taking a few deep breaths, and visualizing something refreshing and revitalizing. It’s deceptively simple and effective, and also is easy to teach your toddler. I’ve seen 3 year old’s already proficient at using this technique on their own, after practicing with an adult a few times.
The sense of knowing one can modulate one’s own state is a powerful tool to give ourselves and our children. You can make a game out of it, personalize it for your child, and invoke it for yourself as needed. It’s contagious in the best possible meaning of the word! Try it today.
Jun
16
2010
TAGS: baby parenting ⋅ listening to your baby ⋅ parenting education ⋅ parenting skills
At the end of the day, even with all the parenting resources available today, it’s our sense of trusting ourselves that empowers us. Creating an ongoing format to enhance that confidence is a powerful tool to have in our parenting repertoire. It might be as simple as talking over your options about a particular challenge with a trusted mentor. An ongoing moms group that enables listening and sharing in a supportive way may be a good source of feedback. There are a variety of options for developing this important trait in your parenting.
As with many aspects of parenting, there is opportunity to constantly add to your ‘toolbox’, refine your insights, and upgrade your skills. Raising kids is the ultimate growth experience. They are growing – you can, too! Seeing the inevitable challenges as opportunities for your own personal growth is an attitude worth exploring.
You may wonder how a baby’s sleep habits could be an opportunity for your growth. Well, there are a great many different ways of responding, reacting, and handling sleep patterns and habits. The behaviors of your infant may summon responses that are unique. Singing a particular lullaby may work better with one child than another. The variations and opportunities for creativity are huge. Have fun with it, explore, be flexible and open, and see you own potential expand. That’s the best start to trusting yourself as a parent.
Oct
28
2009
TAGS: baby development ⋅ baby learning ⋅ brain development ⋅ creative play ⋅ nurturing parenting ⋅ parenting choices ⋅ parenting skills ⋅ parenting support ⋅ relationships ⋅ security
Today’s media-obsessed culture and fast-paced technology are not appropriate hosts for early childhood. As adults, we participate to the extent we choose, in the frenzy and disconnect that modern technology provides. Our very young child’s development is undermined by the same technologies that make our adult lives more efficient and/or effective (with a big question mark by the last part of that statement, for discussion at some other time).
The fundamental need to connect and bond with a real person is usurped every time a baby or toddler is planted in front of a television, video, or electronic media. In order to learn and grow, children need to connect to nature, family, each other, and to their own creativity and initiative. The great downside of the convenient “babysitting’ use of electronic media is that it robs the child of the direct interaction that is key to development of initiative and creativity.
If you are not familiar with the epidemic absence of these qualities in some of our youth, please spend some time in a middle school or high school. I assure you, it will not be a long wait to see a demonstration of the result of “electronic” overexposure. Qualities like problem-solving, using the imagination, inventing and negotiating rules of a game, all examples of growth and change that tap into qualities developed through real life experiences, are noticeably missing in many youth today.
The ‘tuning out’ and absorption with consumer related topics does not begin in the pre-teen or teen years. Groundwork is laid in the baby and toddler stages, by providing other than direct experience with the real world. The three basic needs of of childhood are: positive relationships with adults and other children, security, and creative play. Please take the time to learn how best to provide this for your baby and toddler. The essential building blocks of healthy child development are in your reach.
Sep
2
2009
TAGS: parenting choices ⋅ parenting skills
For your baby and toddler, the optimum way to learn is through play. There are no flashcards, movies, or lessons that are needed. The most valuable source of learning at these early ages is interaction with YOU!
While this obviates an entire segment of what is currently marketed to parents, it is true that you and your baby have everything you need to engage in this activity. Your faces, your voices, your touch, and your attention and interest are truly the best props you could have.
Rather than ‘plugging’ your very young child into an electronic entertainment device, please consider that your time and focus are very well spent interacting with your baby. If you have other tasks you are wanting to accomplish, I’ve found that talking to your baby while you wash dishes, file papers, or do some other task that does not require your complete attention enables you to stay connected. Then you can re-connect fully for another session of play!
All of my anecdotal experience says it it completely worth it to find a way to be available and make the effort to connect. The first few years of your child’s life are crucial to development of lifelong patterns.
www.BabyParentingCoach.com
Aug
28
2009
TAGS: parenting choices ⋅ parenting power ⋅ parenting skills
Today as a parent you don’t get to choose your child’s career path, spouse, geographical location, political orientation, favorite charity, or any of a multitude of other discretionary choices of adulthood. So why does it matter so much how you parent? Because there are a whole array of traits and attributes you DO influence as a parent. These are worth identifying and focusing on, since they will provide mutual satisfaction and enrichment for you and your child, as well as the rest of society.
Rather than engage in power struggles over conflicting choices, it’s more effective to focus on modelling a life that reflects your true values. A child who observes, for instance, her parents volunteering in the midst of their busy lives receives an important message – it’s worth it to take time to give your time/services even when you are busy with your own life. There are intangible benefits from such action. Children absorb values quickly. Observing parent’s responses, behaviors, and attitudes is the primary source of a young child’s value system.
Lead by example, and never doubt that your choices affect your child in ways that will be reflected throughout her life. Who you choose to be is the greatest gift and influence you will have on your child’s development.
