As easy as it is to lose sight of this inherent well of knowing we all possess, it’s also simple to restore ourselves to that place and then draw upon it during the course of our day. Mom and Dad engaging in a ‘self hug’ means taking a few moments to let go of immediate stressors, finding a neutral space within, taking a few deep breaths, and visualizing something refreshing and revitalizing. It’s deceptively simple and effective, and also is easy to teach your toddler. I’ve seen 3 year old’s already proficient at using this technique on their own, after practicing with an adult a few times.

The sense of knowing one can modulate one’s own state is a powerful tool to give ourselves and our children. You can make a game out of it, personalize it for your child, and invoke it for yourself as needed. It’s contagious in the best possible meaning of the word! Try it today.

I continue to encourage my clients and others to take the time to look at your ‘bare minimum” requirements of what you need to feel good yourself. It can be as simple as a 10 minute walk by yourself in the morning when a neighbor or trusted someone will watch your child. Scheduling “me” time is never more important than when you are parenting. I say that because if you are feeling at all resentful, frustrated, depressed, maxed out, etc., etc., your baby gets it – even at the very youngest ages.

You may be arguing with someone on the phone in the next room – your child knows and senses the stressed energy you carry as a result. She may not begin to grasp the content, but the biochemical and energetic shifts that strong emotions create are transmitted – every time, no matter how well you think you ‘shield’ your child.
Take the time to define your “bare minimum” of “me” time required to operate in a consistently calm and balanced manner. You will reap disproportionate rewards in your child’s behaviors.

The fundamental need to connect and bond with a real person is usurped every time a baby or toddler is planted in front of a television, video, or electronic media. In order to learn and grow, children need to connect to nature, family, each other, and to their own creativity and initiative. The great downside of the convenient “babysitting’ use of electronic media is that it robs the child of the direct interaction that is key to development of initiative and creativity.

If you are not familiar with the epidemic absence of these qualities in some of our youth, please spend some time in a middle school or high school. I assure you, it will not be a long wait to see a demonstration of the result of “electronic” overexposure. Qualities like problem-solving, using the imagination, inventing and negotiating rules of a game, all examples of growth and change that tap into qualities developed through real life experiences, are noticeably missing in many youth today.

The ‘tuning out’ and absorption with consumer related topics does not begin in the pre-teen or teen years. Groundwork is laid in the baby and toddler stages, by providing other than direct experience with the real world. The three basic needs of of childhood are: positive relationships with adults and other children, security, and creative play. Please take the time to learn how best to provide this for your baby and toddler. The essential building blocks of healthy child development are in your reach.