From birth to age 3, profound changes and growth are occurring in your baby’s brain. Developmentally, every 3 years is a marked cycle of changes and types of growth. I believe if we all knew what the 0-3 growth was really about, we would be more selective in the environments we create for our babies.
It’s a pretty good analogy to say that your baby is like a ’sponge’ at these ages, and developmentally, taking in everything in her surroundings is part of the plan. “Pruning” of brain synapses happens, with or without our input. For optimum brain development, reducing or eliminating negative stress for your baby is a huge gift you can give. This means minimizing sensory overload, modulating loud or new experiences, and develping an awareness of what your baby does and doesn’t like to be around.
It’s documented with ‘hard’ science now that if a baby’s brain is unduly overloaded with stress, there is a cascade of events that result in your baby actually ’shutting down’ and learning that the world is a hostile, unfriendly environment. The cumulative effect of these kinds of experiences result in a young child out of touch with her own internal feedback. It sets up young children to be dependent entirely on outside sources for making decisions about what they need and want (easy to see how this can be a precursor to a lifetime of eating disorders, substance abuse, behavioral difficulties, etc.)
Please educate yourself as a parent about the extremely dynamic growth happening in your baby’s brain. Your choices in how you interact and the environments that you create for her will shape her lifelong experience.
Published January 22nd, 2009
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A week from today I’ll be at Pharmaca Integrative Pharmacy in South Boulder with parents of babies and toddlers. Our general topic is how to grow as a person while you’re parenting. Everyone is invited, Friday at 3 pm or Saturday at 12:30. Please tell your friends who live in the Boulder area.
My CD, “OMG! I’m A Parent!!” will be available for only $15 (no shipping and handling, which is included in the website price).
Understanding ourselves and the patterns and behaviors we bring to parenting is more than valuable – it’s an insight into what you will be experiencing in the entire parenting process. The reflection of our most desired, as well as least favorite traits, will invariably be reflected back to us by our children. The sooner that is taken into account, the more choices you have in how to modulate your own behaviors.
Taking time to reflect on where we are on the continuum of self-awareness is time well spent, even in the very early hectic and harried parenting years. As more and more research emerges on baby brain development, it continues to consistenly show that babies brains absorb all that is going on around them. As adults, we have sophisticated strategies in place to be more or less aware of certain things, depending on our orientation. Babies do not have these filters yet, so they are getting everything, conscious and unconscious, to which they are exposed. Keeping that in mind can help motivate parents to examine, edit, and revise their own patterns.
Join us for information and fun-filled time at South Boulder Pharmaca next week!
All your questions and comments are always wecome.
Published January 9th, 2009
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Okay, there is no such “syndrome”, but there is an increased stress level in many families due to the holidays. This wonderful, magical, social, and fun time is also marked by lots of additional stress in our lives.
Yesterday I attended a weekly music class for babies and toddlers that is usually a highly participatory, fun event. The group was large, and both babies and adults were cranky, subdued, and not engaged nearly as much as usual. My ‘armchair diagnosis’ is sensory overload from all the ‘extras’ already going on because of holidays. I heard a couple of Moms comment on their incredibly long lists of extra things they were trying to accomplish because of holidays, and several bemoaned how close together Thanksgiving and Christmas are this year!
While I have no solution to the overwhelm many adults succumb to during this season, I do suggest shielding your baby from it as much as possible. Be aware that your baby absorbs all the ambient ‘energy’, whether or not it is directed at her. Even if you are wisely maintaining the regular routines, she is also picking up the heightened state of excitement everywhere, from the retail buzz in stores to festivities at friends’ homes. If you carefully limit how much you choose to expose baby to, you will have much less stressed out crankiness with which to contend.
Happy Holidays!
Email and phone support available throughout!
Published December 12th, 2008
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Having the right tools, right away, is an asset in any task we undertake. In the lifelong role as parent, starting out with the right tools is great. And for all the rest of us, assimilating the best possible tools as we go in the process of parenting is a great way to do it, also.
You don’t have to attend workshops or travel to weekly sessions in order to assemble your own best set of tools. The key component is learning to trust your innate abilities. Common sense often trumps expert opinion in this vocation. The more you develop your own common sense, and learn to trust your own voice, the more your confidence grows.
As parents today, our vulnerability is ripe for exploiting. Never have there been more choices, and more pressure to enroll in services, purchase products, and participate in information and consumption overload. Parenting has in some cases become a business, preying on parents’ fears.
I offer objectivity and support for developing your own cycle of self-reliance. In a collaborative way, we address immediate concerns and then look at overall values and goals that you want to implement. Getting rid of extraneous stuff that is draining your energy is vital at this important stage of your life. Your confidence is your best ally. Clarity and continuity are part of the support system I provide.
Published December 1st, 2008
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As you become a parent and begin to understand the lifelong ramifications, you may also observe opportunities to grow yourself as a person. Our child give us many chances, in many different settings, to observe our own choices of our behaviors and reactions.
Of course, our own child’s behaviors trigger us at times. She may exhibit a pattern or habit that we don’t like in ourselves. He may somehow remind us of a relative or person we have memories of, and that may be pleasant, joyful, sad, or annoying. Every time such an event comes up, it’s a chance to choose what we do.
Many parents revert to the pattern established by their own parenting. Others have studied approaches that may have appealed to them, and are trying to implement those. Some are influenced by friends and peers, others allow their own parenting style to emerge as they meet their baby.
The choices today in parenting styles are many. How do you choose the way that is right for you? What do you do if the way you have chosen isn’t working?
How do you best use parenting to grow yourself as a person? The results you experience are very much up to you. Having excellent support increases the chances of the outcome being what you desire.
Published November 2nd, 2008
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If you saw an ad for a position that was exhausting, caused discomfort, took up most of your time, and involved risk (during pregnancy and childbirth), would you be excited about getting into the job?
When you decide to become a parent, you sign up for all that, as well as all the rewarding and heart-warming moments that make up being a parent. The rewards are huge, and so are the challenges. Preparing ahead of time is wonderful, and I encourage you do that. However, the best preparation in the world does not anticipate the unforeseen developments that come with a new baby.
Whether it’s a temperament or patterns that are not what you were told about in your parenting class, your baby is almost sure to bring you some unexpected challenges. Also, the predictable pieces can still create stress and discomfort for parents. How you handle this will determine the overall quality of your parenting experience.
Lining up excellent support is a wise decision before your baby is born. Knowing that there is experienced and wise support available is important. Call upon it when you need it.
Published October 17th, 2008
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Here’s a great opportunity to meet me and learn more about the services I offer – The Oh Baby! Baby & Family Expo in Denver on September 27-28.
I’ll be there both days, and would love to see you!
If you’re in Colorado and have a chance to stop by, please do – Colorado Convention Center in Denver, lots of valuable information, fun, and lots of shopping!
www.ohbabybabyexpo.com
Hope to see you!
Published August 26th, 2008
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Use the strong empathic connection of an experienced coach to enhance your parenting experience.
Improve your confidence, focus, and energy as a parent.
Learn to develop your own ‘guidance system’.
Contact me now for information by calling 303.776.8100 or sending me an email at babyparentingcoach@gmail.com.
Published July 25th, 2008
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Highly recommended book for all parents:
Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain
by Sue Gerhardt
A highly readable and lively book about the neuroscience, psychology, and biochemistry behind the shaping of your baby’s nervous system, this book confirms many important correlations between love and brain development. The chapter on ‘Corrosive Cortisol’ alone makes the book worth reading. Secure emotional attachment is vital for a lifetime of mental and emotional health.
Persistent powerlessness (the very nature of babyhood) and unrelieved, chronic stress are clearly identified as causes of damage to mental and physical health in babies. The importance of tender, protective parenting cannot be stressed enough. However, many parents are so stressed themselves that offering this type of parenting is challenging, to say the least.
The link between emotional insecurity and cortisol dysfunction is clearly documented. Tuning in emotionally and being available to your child is vitally important. Creating optimum support for yourself as a parent is a wise and powerful choice. Ensure that you are available to your child on this level.
Please see
my website for details on how I provide coaching by phone and email for busy parents.
Published July 21st, 2008
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Dealing with any parenting challenge is easier with solid support from a source you know and trust. Particularly during the first year or two of parenting (and plenty of times after that, as well), we question our own abilities to deal with the ongoing challenges. This is for good reason, as most of us have never embarked on a role more challenging or stressful. No career experience can prepare one for parenting.
This questioning can easily spiral into doubt, lack of confidence, and provide fodder for disagreements with our partner, family members, and friends. Often a second or third child brings up new issues that are unfamiliar and difficult.
It’s fascinating to me that while much time and energy is devoted to all the nuances of decorating the baby’s room and signing up for all the ‘right’ activities and classes, it’s often unclear where the parent will turn when there is a question or challenge that is not addressed in the readily available channels.
New parents are typically stressed with just making it through the day and week. They are handed dilemnas and questions on a daily basis, some more pressing than others.
What if you had a wise and trusted person in your life with whom you could consult regarding parenting as needed, to vent, ask questions, reflect, or any combination thereof? How would you benefit from increasing your own skills in accessing your own parenting wisdom, while understanding more about this path of great opportunity? I am dedicated to working with you to evoke the best parent in you, keep you learning about yourself, and support you in your choices in parenting.
Published May 26th, 2008
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