The Baby Parenting Coach » Uncategorized

Babies: Trusting Yourself to Parent

Ingrid — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:52:36 +0000

At the end of the day, even with all the parenting resources available today, it’s our sense of trusting ourselves that empowers us. Creating an ongoing format to enhance that confidence is a powerful tool to have in our parenting repertoire. It might be as simple as talking over your options about a particular challenge with a trusted mentor. An ongoing moms group that enables listening and sharing in a supportive way may be a good source of feedback. There are a variety of options for developing this important trait in your parenting.
As with many aspects of parenting, there is opportunity to constantly add to your ‘toolbox’, refine your insights, and upgrade your skills. Raising kids is the ultimate growth experience. They are growing – you can, too! Seeing the inevitable challenges as opportunities for your own personal growth is an attitude worth exploring.
You may wonder how a baby’s sleep habits could be an opportunity for your growth. Well, there are a great many different ways of responding, reacting, and handling sleep patterns and habits. The behaviors of your infant may summon responses that are unique. Singing a particular lullaby may work better with one child than another. The variations and opportunities for creativity are huge. Have fun with it, explore, be flexible and open, and see you own potential expand. That’s the best start to trusting yourself as a parent.

Babies: Look At How We Parent

Ingrid — Sat, 08 May 2010 18:42:13 +0000

What will our future be like? I get a small glimpse every time I witness an interaction between an adult and a baby/toddler. It’s not that I have a crystal ball, but as a dedicated observer and researcher of how parenting affects baby brain development, I continue to see the correlation between parents’/caregivers’ “styles” and the baby’s behavior. The recurring pattern I notice is that stressed, maxed-out parents have babies/toddlers with much more challenging, ‘acting out’ behaviors that then, in turn, contribute to more stress for the adult. The cycle is particularly challenging when parents are already encumbered with sleep deprivation, straining relationships, and the myriad of other ‘extras” heaped on (often) unprepared parents.
I continue to encourage my clients and others to take the time to look at your ‘bare minimum” requirements of what you need to feel good yourself. It can be as simple as a 10 minute walk by yourself in the morning when a neighbor or trusted someone will watch your child. Scheduling “me” time is never more important than when you are parenting. I say that because if you are feeling at all resentful, frustrated, depressed, maxed out, etc., etc., your baby gets it – even at the very youngest ages.
You may be arguing with someone on the phone in the next room – your child knows and senses the stressed energy you carry as a result. She may not begin to grasp the content, but the biochemical and energetic shifts that strong emotions create are transmitted – every time, no matter how well you think you ’shield’ your child.
Take the time to define your “bare minimum” of “me” time required to operate in a consistently calm and balanced manner. You will reap disproportionate rewards in your child’s behaviors.
Email and phone support for parents of babies and toddlers

Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
www.BabyParentingCoach.com

Parenting Baby with Direct Experience of the Real World

Ingrid — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:54:16 +0000

Today’s media-obsessed culture and fast-paced technology are not appropriate hosts for early childhood. As adults, we participate to the extent we choose, in the frenzy and disconnect that modern technology provides. Our very young child’s development is undermined by the same technologies that make our adult lives more efficient and/or effective (with a big question mark by the last part of that statement, for discussion at some other time).

The fundamental need to connect and bond with a real person is usurped every time a baby or toddler is planted in front of a television, video, or electronic media. In order to learn and grow, children need to connect to nature, family, each other, and to their own creativity and initiative. The great downside of the convenient “babysitting’ use of electronic media is that it robs the child of the direct interaction that is key to development of initiative and creativity.

If you are not familiar with the epidemic absence of these qualities in some of our youth, please spend some time in a middle school or high school. I assure you, it will not be a long wait to see a demonstration of the result of “electronic” overexposure. Qualities like problem-solving, using the imagination, inventing and negotiating rules of a game, all examples of growth and change that tap into qualities developed through real life experiences, are noticeably missing in many youth today.

The ‘tuning out’ and absorption with consumer related topics does not begin in the pre-teen or teen years. Groundwork is laid in the baby and toddler stages, by providing other than direct experience with the real world. The three basic needs of of childhood are: positive relationships with adults and other children, security, and creative play. Please take the time to learn how best to provide this for your baby and toddler. The essential building blocks of healthy child development are in your reach.

Email and phone support available
Ingrid Johnson 303.776.8100

Courage & Consciousness To Break Unconscious Patterns in Parenting

Ingrid — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:52:17 +0000

Our daily actions as parents put into play the beliefs and values we pass on. Raising healthy, happy, and well-adjusted children is not a random draw. It is the result of choosing our way of interacting with our children.

For most of us, being less critical and more tolerant is a good place to start. Being accepting, encouraging, and child-friendly goes a long way toward healthy parenting.

An added benefit of taking the time to examine our own patterns is that it will also improve other relationships in our lives, with spouse, partner, teacher, and manager. The same principles work for bringing about loving, respectful, affirming, and empowering relationships with anyone.

The best way to make a contribution to a better world is to take the time to be a better parent. Most of the problems we see in society begin in the home. Being the best possible parent you can be is well worth the investment in self-examination, understanding your own patterns, and choosing to make changes to create healthy and respectful parenting.

Support is available by email and phone.
www.BabyParentingCoach.com

Your Birth, Your Baby, Your Choice

Ingrid — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:52:40 +0000

Becoming a parent is an intensely intimate and private event. At the same time, today it is possible to quickly become inundated with opinions, pressures, advice, and options that can be confusing and overwhelming. Retreating to the privacy of your own inner world can be a good starting point for sorting out what is best for you, your baby, and your family.

Because there are so many choices involved, ranging from where and how to give birth, whether to circumcise a baby boy, whether to breastfeed, immunizations, cloth diapers vs. disposable, and on and on, the more preparation time you have, the better you will fare. Talk to as many parents as you can, and ask the questions you’re really interested in – even though they may not be the ‘mainstream’ topics.

If you’re concerned about the effects being new parents will have on your relationship with your partner, ask couples you know who have been through this phase how they coped with it. It’s really worth it to do the research!

My own good fortune in having a midwife deliver all three of my children was almost ‘an accident’. I didn’t really know anything about midwives, and went for a routine check-up with my ob-gyn. His office had just hired a midwife, and I was told some of my pre-natal appointments would be with her. As soon as I met Janet, I knew I had a partner to support the kind of birth I wanted, and she went on to deliver all 3 of my babies! It was a joyful and family centered event each time, and I cherish the memories.

Don’t hesitate to dig around and do some research. There are many choices, from hospital birth to homebirth, birthing centers – no one choice is right for everyone. It’s well worth the investment of your time to talk with care providers, parents, and any resource that gives you insight into making your birth experience uniquely yours and comfortable.

Support is available to make the optimum choices for you and your family.

www.BabyParentingCoach.com

Join me for a free tele-class “Parenting Your Baby: What We know For Sure” Sept 15 at 8 pm EST

Play, play, play

Ingrid — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:28:32 +0000

For your baby and toddler, the optimum way to learn is through play. There are no flashcards, movies, or lessons that are needed. The most valuable source of learning at these early ages is interaction with YOU!

While this obviates an entire segment of what is currently marketed to parents, it is true that you and your baby have everything you need to engage in this activity. Your faces, your voices, your touch, and your attention and interest are truly the best props you could have.

Rather than ‘plugging’ your very young child into an electronic entertainment device, please consider that your time and focus are very well spent interacting with your baby. If you have other tasks you are wanting to accomplish, I’ve found that talking to your baby while you wash dishes, file papers, or do some other task that does not require your complete attention enables you to stay connected. Then you can re-connect fully for another session of play!

All of my anecdotal experience says it it completely worth it to find a way to be available and make the effort to connect. The first few years of your child’s life are crucial to development of lifelong patterns.

www.BabyParentingCoach.com

READ to your baby, READ

Ingrid — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:15:00 +0000

Long before your baby is born, the sound of your voice is imprinted as a familiar and comforting sound. You can substitute the word “SING” in the title, also. Your voice is incredibly powerful as a connection to your baby, before and after she is born.

Reading to a very young infant creates a bond and a learning experience. Your voice communicating a story, or just talking about the pictures in a book, makes a context for reference that your baby will carry forward. The ritual of reading to an infant is part of connecting in a reassuring, warm way with a process that will continue to give rewards for many years.

As your baby starts to look at the pictures, and becomes familiar with certain favorite characters and stories, you will see the anticipation and pleasure that she gets from hearing certain words and phrases. Of course, singing, adding sound effects, and any other creative additions you are inspired to do are wonderful. But even at the very most basic level of opening a book and reading the contents every night at bedtime, you are establishing a lifelong precedent for reading.

The benefit to the parent doing the reading is that you will be brought into the present moment, and you can let go of other stresses and worries. Just being present, however simple the story, however many times it’s been read before, can give a few minutes of refreshment to the busy, harried parent.

Reading in multiple languages is another enhancement from which your baby will benefit. If this is an option for you, please use it. The early exposure to different languages lays the groundwork for a facility with languages later.

Instilling a love for books and reading is a gift to which the benefits are endless. Lifelong learning begins in infancy (and before!), and reading to your baby is an excellent way to start.

Support for Your Own Parenting Wisdom

Ingrid — Mon, 26 May 2008 20:17:00 +0000

Dealing with any parenting challenge is easier with solid support from a source you know and trust. Particularly during the first year or two of parenting (and plenty of times after that, as well), we question our own abilities to deal with the ongoing challenges. This is for good reason, as most of us have never embarked on a role more challenging or stressful. No career experience can prepare one for parenting.

This questioning can easily spiral into doubt, lack of confidence, and provide fodder for disagreements with our partner, family members, and friends. Often a second or third child brings up new issues that are unfamiliar and difficult.

It’s fascinating to me that while much time and energy is devoted to all the nuances of decorating the baby’s room and signing up for all the ‘right’ activities and classes, it’s often unclear where the parent will turn when there is a question or challenge that is not addressed in the readily available channels.

New parents are typically stressed with just making it through the day and week. They are handed dilemnas and questions on a daily basis, some more pressing than others.

What if you had a wise and trusted person in your life with whom you could consult regarding parenting as needed, to vent, ask questions, reflect, or any combination thereof? How would you benefit from increasing your own skills in accessing your own parenting wisdom, while understanding more about this path of great opportunity? I am dedicated to working with you to evoke the best parent in you, keep you learning about yourself, and support you in your choices in parenting.