Without getting into the highly private, intense, and controversial areas of parenting styles, I still see an enormous benefit to educating about the critical impact, for life, of what a baby and toddler experiences in the 0 – 3 age range. While we can focus on a variety of ’superficial’ issues, one parenting method over another, choices that seem vital to the parenting style we want to endorse, we seldom hear or have an open discussion of the impact of subtle nuances on our baby’s wellness. Even amongst ‘experts’, the importance of clarity of our own values and priorities before we parent is seldom discussed.

Learning to recognize, love, and accept that which is difficult, unacceptable, and challenging within ourselves is a fundamental precept to parenting. Support for that process is vital and easily makes the difference between a parent who suceeds and one who is overwhelmed.

Please encourage all those you know who are comtemplating parenthood, are already parents of babies/toddlers, and who are caregivers to seek their most trustworthy parenting voice from their own essence. As always, I welcome your questions and comments.

• Good nutrition in pregnancy is key. Eat the very best diet you can, and of course, refrain from any toxic substances (tobacco, alcohol, etc.)
• Insure your baby’s safety and well-being. A dangerous environment or a lack of response to baby’s stress create a series of effects that can actually slow brain development. Responding lovingly and consistently to your baby’s cries and giving her attention to insure that she does not experience this type of stress.
• Talk to your baby throughout the day, describing what you’re seeing, what you’re doing. The interaction actually builds brain connections, readies her for language skills, and creates a healthy emotional bond.
• Start reading aloud to your baby as early as possible. In addition to helping brian development of language connections, you spend time together and instill a lifelong love of books.
• Choose high quality childcare. There is a huge range of quality within childcare options, and selecting an environment that is sensitive, loving, and appropriately stimulating will greatly enhance your baby’s brain development.
• Get the information and resources you need. Learn about your baby’s development, ask questions at check-up time, and find the resources you need. The 0-3 year old time is a unique opportunity to shape your child’s entire life by carefully choosing what environment you provide.

It’s a pretty good analogy to say that your baby is like a ’sponge’ at these ages, and developmentally, taking in everything in her surroundings is part of the plan. “Pruning” of brain synapses happens, with or without our input. For optimum brain development, reducing or eliminating negative stress for your baby is a huge gift you can give. This means minimizing sensory overload, modulating loud or new experiences, and develping an awareness of what your baby does and doesn’t like to be around.

It’s documented with ‘hard’ science now that if a baby’s brain is unduly overloaded with stress, there is a cascade of events that result in your baby actually ’shutting down’ and learning that the world is a hostile, unfriendly environment. The cumulative effect of these kinds of experiences result in a young child out of touch with her own internal feedback. It sets up young children to be dependent entirely on outside sources for making decisions about what they need and want (easy to see how this can be a precursor to a lifetime of eating disorders, substance abuse, behavioral difficulties, etc.)

Please educate yourself as a parent about the extremely dynamic growth happening in your baby’s brain. Your choices in how you interact and the environments that you create for her will shape her lifelong experience.

Yesterday I attended a weekly music class for babies and toddlers that is usually a highly participatory, fun event. The group was large, and both babies and adults were cranky, subdued, and not engaged nearly as much as usual. My ‘armchair diagnosis’ is sensory overload from all the ‘extras’ already going on because of holidays. I heard a couple of Moms comment on their incredibly long lists of extra things they were trying to accomplish because of holidays, and several bemoaned how close together Thanksgiving and Christmas are this year!

While I have no solution to the overwhelm many adults succumb to during this season, I do suggest shielding your baby from it as much as possible. Be aware that your baby absorbs all the ambient ‘energy’, whether or not it is directed at her. Even if you are wisely maintaining the regular routines, she is also picking up the heightened state of excitement everywhere, from the retail buzz in stores to festivities at friends’ homes. If you carefully limit how much you choose to expose baby to, you will have much less stressed out crankiness with which to contend.

Happy Holidays!

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