The Baby Parenting Coach » parenting guide

Babies: Trusting Yourself to Parent

Ingrid — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:52:36 +0000

At the end of the day, even with all the parenting resources available today, it’s our sense of trusting ourselves that empowers us. Creating an ongoing format to enhance that confidence is a powerful tool to have in our parenting repertoire. It might be as simple as talking over your options about a particular challenge with a trusted mentor. An ongoing moms group that enables listening and sharing in a supportive way may be a good source of feedback. There are a variety of options for developing this important trait in your parenting.
As with many aspects of parenting, there is opportunity to constantly add to your ‘toolbox’, refine your insights, and upgrade your skills. Raising kids is the ultimate growth experience. They are growing – you can, too! Seeing the inevitable challenges as opportunities for your own personal growth is an attitude worth exploring.
You may wonder how a baby’s sleep habits could be an opportunity for your growth. Well, there are a great many different ways of responding, reacting, and handling sleep patterns and habits. The behaviors of your infant may summon responses that are unique. Singing a particular lullaby may work better with one child than another. The variations and opportunities for creativity are huge. Have fun with it, explore, be flexible and open, and see you own potential expand. That’s the best start to trusting yourself as a parent.

Understanding Parenting As If Our Future Depends On It

Ingrid — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:38:59 +0000

Much of my focus recently has been on educating about the importance of parenting to support optimum baby brain development. The deeper I delve into research that has, in most cases, been around for many years, the more it is validated for me that what we do as parents/caregivers of the very young is inextricably linked to quality of life for us all. It’s interesting to me that so little connection is made in our mainstream media. It’s as if tantrums, behavioral challenges, ADD/ADHD, teen angst, our overflowing prisons, and the myriad of social problems that we have arrive from another planet, are some external ill that is foisted upon us, and are reason to consult ‘experts’ or other resources outside ourselves. It’s my belief that 90+% of these issues could be addressed in very early childhood. Preparing for and supporting ourselves during this monumental task would make a world of difference, not just for you and your child, but for all of us who live in this society and world with you.

Without getting into the highly private, intense, and controversial areas of parenting styles, I still see an enormous benefit to educating about the critical impact, for life, of what a baby and toddler experiences in the 0 – 3 age range. While we can focus on a variety of ’superficial’ issues, one parenting method over another, choices that seem vital to the parenting style we want to endorse, we seldom hear or have an open discussion of the impact of subtle nuances on our baby’s wellness. Even amongst ‘experts’, the importance of clarity of our own values and priorities before we parent is seldom discussed.

Learning to recognize, love, and accept that which is difficult, unacceptable, and challenging within ourselves is a fundamental precept to parenting. Support for that process is vital and easily makes the difference between a parent who suceeds and one who is overwhelmed.

Please encourage all those you know who are comtemplating parenthood, are already parents of babies/toddlers, and who are caregivers to seek their most trustworthy parenting voice from their own essence. As always, I welcome your questions and comments.

Play, play, play

Ingrid — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:28:32 +0000

For your baby and toddler, the optimum way to learn is through play. There are no flashcards, movies, or lessons that are needed. The most valuable source of learning at these early ages is interaction with YOU!

While this obviates an entire segment of what is currently marketed to parents, it is true that you and your baby have everything you need to engage in this activity. Your faces, your voices, your touch, and your attention and interest are truly the best props you could have.

Rather than ‘plugging’ your very young child into an electronic entertainment device, please consider that your time and focus are very well spent interacting with your baby. If you have other tasks you are wanting to accomplish, I’ve found that talking to your baby while you wash dishes, file papers, or do some other task that does not require your complete attention enables you to stay connected. Then you can re-connect fully for another session of play!

All of my anecdotal experience says it it completely worth it to find a way to be available and make the effort to connect. The first few years of your child’s life are crucial to development of lifelong patterns.

www.BabyParentingCoach.com

Creating Self-Directed Behavior in Your Toddler

Ingrid — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:23:00 +0000

Developmentally, your toddler is beginning to emerge as an independent little person, also very much in need of reliable connection to you. Finding ways to balance those two factors while remaining responsive and supportive of the developmental changes are the challenges of this period in parenting. Parents who continue to control and orchestrate every event for the toddler are removing an important learning opportunity.

Of course, we adults realize that we are making pretty much all the significant decisions in the toddler’s life. However, the many small, daily choices that are present are wonderful windows of learning, if you are aware of them and take advantage of them. The ability to discern preferences, beginning with tiny distinctions, like the degree of darkness in the child’s room for sleeping, can set the tone for including the child in decision-making. This grows into more and more participation and input as the child becomes older. Asking for feedback, listening to it, and incorporating it into the daily rhythms are important patterns for the toddler to experience.

Self-directed behavior requires checking in with self first. Toddlerhood is an optimum age at which to model and teach this skill. It has lifelong value, and can be built open at every stage of development. Self-directed behavior precedes other more sophisticated self-modulating techniques that are key to socialization. These skills are valuable for life.

Support for identifying where you are most skilled, as well as areas where you may need help is available to you in individual sessions or convenient packages now available at www.babyparentingcoach.com.

Don’t hesitate to explore the potential of your best possible parenting!

Experience Yourself As a Great Parent

Ingrid — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:58:00 +0000

What’s possible for you as a parent? Have you thought about the options?

Will you access your authentic ‘voice’ as you evolve and explore?

Do you feel as if you could do better?

Do you feel overwhelmed with all the choices, or with differences with your partner?

How would it feel to experience yourself as a great parent? What’s possible?

I’m offering sample coaching sessions to help you tap into the compelling, irresistible vision you have (even if it’s buried!) of yourself as a great parent. Together we will discover some of the qualities that are important to you. I’ll help you compile a “mini toolbox” of strategies for accessing these qualities when you feel challenged, overwhelmed, and not in touch with yourself as a great parent.

Free, VERY limited time offer of intro 45 minute sessions now scheduling. Call 303.776.8100 or email babyparentingcoach@gmail.com today.

See yourself as a great parent, learn to develop the skills that will take you there.

Fill Your Parenting Toolbox Today

Ingrid — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:13:00 +0000

Having the right tools, right away, is an asset in any task we undertake. In the lifelong role as parent, starting out with the right tools is great. And for all the rest of us, assimilating the best possible tools as we go in the process of parenting is a great way to do it, also.

You don’t have to attend workshops or travel to weekly sessions in order to assemble your own best set of tools. The key component is learning to trust your innate abilities. Common sense often trumps expert opinion in this vocation. The more you develop your own common sense, and learn to trust your own voice, the more your confidence grows.

As parents today, our vulnerability is ripe for exploiting. Never have there been more choices, and more pressure to enroll in services, purchase products, and participate in information and consumption overload. Parenting has in some cases become a business, preying on parents’ fears.

I offer objectivity and support for developing your own cycle of self-reliance. In a collaborative way, we address immediate concerns and then look at overall values and goals that you want to implement. Getting rid of extraneous stuff that is draining your energy is vital at this important stage of your life. Your confidence is your best ally. Clarity and continuity are part of the support system I provide.

Your Baby, Your Self

Ingrid — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:57:00 +0000

As you become a parent and begin to understand the lifelong ramifications, you may also observe opportunities to grow yourself as a person. Our child give us many chances, in many different settings, to observe our own choices of our behaviors and reactions.

Of course, our own child’s behaviors trigger us at times. She may exhibit a pattern or habit that we don’t like in ourselves. He may somehow remind us of a relative or person we have memories of, and that may be pleasant, joyful, sad, or annoying. Every time such an event comes up, it’s a chance to choose what we do.

Many parents revert to the pattern established by their own parenting. Others have studied approaches that may have appealed to them, and are trying to implement those. Some are influenced by friends and peers, others allow their own parenting style to emerge as they meet their baby.

The choices today in parenting styles are many. How do you choose the way that is right for you? What do you do if the way you have chosen isn’t working?

How do you best use parenting to grow yourself as a person? The results you experience are very much up to you. Having excellent support increases the chances of the outcome being what you desire.

Parenting – The ‘Irrational’ Vocation

Ingrid — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:11:00 +0000

If you saw an ad for a position that was exhausting, caused discomfort, took up most of your time, and involved risk (during pregnancy and childbirth), would you be excited about getting into the job?

When you decide to become a parent, you sign up for all that, as well as all the rewarding and heart-warming moments that make up being a parent. The rewards are huge, and so are the challenges. Preparing ahead of time is wonderful, and I encourage you do that. However, the best preparation in the world does not anticipate the unforeseen developments that come with a new baby.

Whether it’s a temperament or patterns that are not what you were told about in your parenting class, your baby is almost sure to bring you some unexpected challenges. Also, the predictable pieces can still create stress and discomfort for parents. How you handle this will determine the overall quality of your parenting experience.

Lining up excellent support is a wise decision before your baby is born. Knowing that there is experienced and wise support available is important. Call upon it when you need it.

Bump Up Your Confidence As a Parent

Ingrid — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:01:00 +0000

Use the strong empathic connection of an experienced coach to enhance your parenting experience.

Improve your confidence, focus, and energy as a parent.

Learn to develop your own ‘guidance system’.

Contact me now for information by calling 303.776.8100 or sending me an email at babyparentingcoach@gmail.com.

Stress, ‘corrosive cortisol’, and your baby

Ingrid — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:45:00 +0000

Highly recommended book for all parents:

Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain

by Sue Gerhardt

A highly readable and lively book about the neuroscience, psychology, and biochemistry behind the shaping of your baby’s nervous system, this book confirms many important correlations between love and brain development. The chapter on ‘Corrosive Cortisol’ alone makes the book worth reading. Secure emotional attachment is vital for a lifetime of mental and emotional health.

Persistent powerlessness (the very nature of babyhood) and unrelieved, chronic stress are clearly identified as causes of damage to mental and physical health in babies. The importance of tender, protective parenting cannot be stressed enough. However, many parents are so stressed themselves that offering this type of parenting is challenging, to say the least.

The link between emotional insecurity and cortisol dysfunction is clearly documented. Tuning in emotionally and being available to your child is vitally important. Creating optimum support for yourself as a parent is a wise and powerful choice. Ensure that you are available to your child on this level.

Please see my website for details on how I provide coaching by phone and email for busy parents.